Tag: debt

Less Than 60 Days

In less than 60 days I will be fully employed in my dream job. The job I’ve worked all of these years to receive. The reason I suffered through all of the years of education was to be qualified for this job.

The aforementioned makes one believe that I should be celebrating, right? Unfortunately, I am not celebrating this milestone in my life.

Why am I not celebrating this monumental achievement? This entire year Thus far I’ve been unemployed and that means that my debts were not taken care of.

I’m a person who always takes responsibility for the debts and mistakes I make so this year has been difficult so far.

I finished my education program at the end of 2018. I continued my job hunt, had interviews, landed a job finally.

I landed the job at a time when I was terribly discouraged. I was discouraged because although I had interviews it was beginning to feel like all of my educational preparation and everything I’d worked hard for was fruitless.

Receiving the job offer and negotiating the contract specifics was a dream come true. That call came in the nick of time to remind me that my work was not in vain.

Now I sit here at my writing desk after speaking with two of my debtors and I can say it’s another dark time.

It’s disheartening to tell my debtors that I have a job but it doesn’t start until August. That none of my family members are able to help me with these bills right now.

Every time I mention that my family members are unable to assist me with my bills during this time of unemployment. I acknowledge that my parents provide me with a place to stay and that’s going above and beyond the call of duty.

I’m an adult and I’m the one responsible for my debts. My parents are being amazingly kind by extending their home to me. It would be a hardship for them to pay my debts also. If they could do so without placing themselves in a bind, I’m certain they would.

I must mention here that my new place of employment that starts in August requires me to relocate. I’ll be starting completely over because when I left my last residence where I went to school, I donated everything except my clothing items.

That still seems like the best decision I’ve ever made and it helps to know that my items helped multiple families in need.

I don’t live in an area that has a lot of temporary employers and the gig economy has yet to take off here! So I feel stuck.

I want to be able to feel joy about my next adventure in the form of my dream job; however, my debts and inability to pay restrict my joy.

In less than 60 days my dream job starts, but in the meantime I struggle to make ends meet and I’m unable to pay the debts I’ve made. It’s an interesting space to be in.

Life Transitions and it’s Problems

In 9 weeks I’ll officially start my post-PhD career, I should be excited. Unfortunately, my tumultuous financial life bogs me all the way down. It’s difficult to focus on the blessing of a new job with good benefits when I’m constantly alerting debtors of my inability to pay.

I also have to deal with the emotional toll of relocating and starting all over again. I’ve started over at least once in my adult life; however, this time is different. This time I hope to be planting roots and making myself a home.

This time I won’t be a student and I’ll be working in my field of choice.

Some have suggested that I simply keep the faith and not worry about things I cannot control.

My thoughts are clouded by unnecessary worries. Yes, my credit score is rapidly declining as I wait. Yes, my health desperately wishes I had health insurance or at least the financial means to see a health care provider. But I am in a position that I can’t do much about anything so my worry is unnecessary.