Millions…didn’t make it

What has drawn me to Daily Prompts? Why am I enthusiastic about posting daily based on whatever the prompt is? I’ve had this blog for a while, it’s been a ‘seat filler’ on WordPress…in other words, when I thought about posting or actually posted…I DELETE!

So you’re wondering, how is this related to the daily prompt – Millions?

Fear not. I haven’t deviated off topic, I’m simply on that long stretch of road between my starting point and my destination. You know, that part of the trip that makes you wonder if you’re lost, regardless of how many times you’ve taken that journey.

Like me, millions start a blog and participate in various writing activities for a short while…and DELETE!

Millions  of posts  are deleted by bloggers of all levels of engagement because we feel that it is not good enough, fails to convey the message we are attempting to broadcast, gives us an unfavorable image or is just plain bad In our opinion.

Why do we decide to keep the other millions of blog posts? How is it that these posts survive and others fail?

Whatever we post becomes visible to someone eventually and yet and still millions of people blog, millions of posts daily

Many of my posts on this very blog never saw the light of day

True enough I have yet to delete millions of posts personally, but I’ve had MILLIONS of thoughts, ideas to post about that I judged out of existence

We care about perception, even if it is just our own so we choose which of our creative posts will enter among the millions of other posts.

Those times when our posts makes it through the stringent (often unnecessarily so) self-judgment they become

1 in 1,000,000…millions didn’t make it so be proud of your post!

…via Daily Prompt: Millions

Daily Prompt: Ancient

We met when I was still a teenager

we bonded once I entered my 20s

and we are still attached during my third decade of life.

At times when we discuss our previous lives together, it feels dated.

We easily realize that we need to create more memories together

because our shared memories are ancient!

They are not simply old…ancient denotes that these memories are valuable and worth being explored.

If they were simply old, we could easily discard them

These memories are the foundation which we built the present

There is certainly beauty in the ancient

It’s not always obvious, the value in the ancient but there’s a reason we study history and collect antiques.

Our memories are ancient and yet they are beautiful

via Daily Prompt: Ancient

Talk to me

Hello dear friend,

I was supposed to contact you, but I didn’t know what to say. I thought of all the ways to contact you, for instance

I thought of sending you an email, but that requires words. I thought of calling you, but I wasn’t even sure why I would because still no words. I even thought of sending you a text message, but I still was unsure of what to say.

So now here I am knowing that I am supposed to contact you, unsure as to why.

It boggles my mind how I know that you have something to say to me and/or I have something to say to you; although a piece of the puzzle is missing.

You tell me, what exactly is it that I am supposed to communicate to you, please let me know.


Daily Prompt: Underground

On the surface, all appears cool, calm and collected but what lies underground is anything but…

Even Earth, herself can only contain the tumultuous below the surface for so long.

We’ve all heard of or experienced times when Earth’s underground makes her presence known.

Ironically, mere moments before underground’s destruction came to the forefront, the surface was cool, calm and collected.

But Earth is not the her I think of when I think of the underground…and neither are the now celebrated women who led many to freedom through the Underground Railroad, a complex, impressive, and amazing aspect of the United States’ complicated history.

I think of the many individuals, particularly the women  I know, who go throughout their days appearing to be the picture of stillness and cordiality, when deep within them (in their personal underground) there’s calamity, anxiety, and all other emotions.

To some of you, this may be a stretch, but it simply takes time to think about it and effort to understand what is meant by underground.

We often hear stories of horrible things happening in an underground system from child trafficking to theft of bodily organs

But there’s an underground that we don’t like to discuss, unless it’s the flavor of the month.

Those deeply rooted beliefs and ideas that we hold about ourselves and others that goes against what we feel we should believe.

Those unnecessary pressures we have on ourselves which are impossible to achieve.

There are many more things that we have in our personal underground that haunt us on a daily basis.

The most difficult thing is learning how to keep the underground from raging through and interpreting our lives like those earthquakes and corruption we hear about all too often.

Daily Prompt: Underground

Unworthy of Love

It is safe to say that at times I’ve felt a mixture of both being unworthy of love and being unloved

Not shockingly, I’ve struggled with this as a child also

As far as being unworthy is concerned I fail to see why anyone would waste time loving me

When I feel this way, I devalue myself

for example, I feel that I am far from anything special

plus I honestly believe that I am majorly damaged goods.

Thats how I feel during those low times

Additionally, it’s no surprise that during these times I feel unloved by the very individuals who proclaim their love for me

When these people are too busy with their own lives to tend to mine, I take that as proof to my outrageous belief

It is true, we see what we want often

Plus it doesn’t help that I project an image that I am always able to take care of myself and I need NO assistance

Even still when my loved ones, let me handle my own

I feel dejected

In reality, I absolutely love to be helped

and I love to be told the reasons why I am loved and why people desire to help me

I recognized long ago the roots of feeling of unworthiness, but only recently have I began to address it and

see myself for how amazing I truly am.

I am beyond worthy of love and most importantly I am truly loved


Destiny Close

At times it feels like life is out of control or that you are barely hanging on

Remember those times are temporary

You are headed in the right direction and closer to your destination than you realize

Questioning Myself

Wanting to feel special, always. Scared to be loved, usually. Wondering if I told the truth, presently. Was I really ok in November? I don’t know, I thought I was…that much is true. Am I ok now? I don’t believe so, but I don’t quite know what is wrong. What is really bothering me deep down. What am I afraid to see?

There’s so much going on, so many questions? Will I finish school? What am I doing with my life? Why do I still have endometriosis? Why do I continue to eat bad when I know better? Why do I feel alone when I have many friends? I haven’t felt the least bit attractive in months, maybe longer? Yes, some days I’ve felt pretty but something inside feels ugly.

I feel like I am close to completing this transition but one wrong move and I fail…I know failure and it’s not pretty?