Category: Just because

My Peace is Threatened

If I could simply be frustrated with the job search, I’d be much more comforted. Even job searches come to an end!

I cannot pinpoint what’s off in my world because nothing is truly wrong; however, so much has changed.

I spent the majority of my life thus far in pursuit of a dream; once I realized that dream…the dream qualities were missing!

How is it that I’m immensely proud of my personal and professional accomplishments; yet, I feel like there’s another story underlying everything which contains the key to what’s right and wrong in my life right now?

I’ve always been that person who ignored my feelings in the name of sanity. I learned early on that the exploration of feelings and emotions spell danger.

I know this is a far out there idea for many of you, but I’ll take this time to remind you that feelings and emotions rarely make sense on paper!

I’m an adult and there are steps I have to take to feel that way internally. I’ve financially supported myself for years so that’s no issue…granted employment would make this part of life much easier!!!

My train of thought departed 🚂

Typos…

The awkward moment I read my posts and find typos I missed when both times I proofread!

I proofread TWICE and there’s still typos!

Hobbies, Anyone?

A hobby is something you engage in regularly for sheer entertainment.

We are often asked what our hobbies are; especially, when we are first getting to know someone.

I’ve struggled to answer this question every time it was asked.

Not because I dislike fun, entertainment. But because many of the things I do enjoy are ingrained into my lifestyle….therefore it is difficult to identify these things as hobbies.

Part of my problem is my construction of hobby! I think of hobby and I think of an activity that’s far more entertaining than anything I actually enjoy. Plus I seem to believe that one must have numerous hobbies in order for it to count!

This is a terrible misconception, although it’s one I choose to continue to believe. At least I know my logic is flawed…that stands for something right?

I don’t enjoy the “big” hobbies like the ones that incorporate physical activity or those that involves instruments or tools. I didn’t name any particular hobby, yet you envisioned some by my hollow descriptions, right?

Even before you begin to read this post…the title invoked imagery of hobbies! The mind is interesting like that.

I enjoy reading and that’s the only thing I identify as a hobby of mine! Sure there are other things I like to do; but, leisure reading is the only thing I regularly do for entertainment.

I’ve tried expanding my hobbies without much success.

Hello dear reader, my name is Amber and my only hobby is reading! How about you?

Who Am I?

I’ve never been one to have a lot of nicknames.

For a fact, my first and middle is as close to a moniker that I have!

My name is Amber, in case you were wondering. I love to laugh. Enjoy writing and I am passionate about helping others. I have been blessed with many opportunities.

I’ve had several blogs through the years – I deleted them whenever the thrill was gone!

Most of my blogs via various platforms focused on my life with endometriosis. These blogs were instrumental during times when I needed reassurance that I was not alone in the painful struggles.

My picture is included in many endometriosis awareness videos created by individuals I interacted with online.

Now I blog about whatever happens to be on my mind…I’ve read that this catch-all type of blog is the least profitable! Sigh.

If you’ve read my recent posts, you know that I have academic degrees and I’m on the job market.

My name is very common so it’s difficult to google me with much success! I’ve had many friends who’ve tried.

My blog title: Strong Caring Beauty is a collection of words people used to describe me during one of those social media quizzes.

I have a difficult time describing myself because there’s so much to who I am. Plus, I have no issue with people developing their own opinions without my persuasion.

However, I’m grateful that you took the time to read this post and to visit my blog. Thank you

Bye 2018, Hello 2019

In January, I had an unremarkable birthday.

In February, I broadened some youngsters’ appreciation of Black History.

In March, I failed to meet a deadline, again.

In April, I socialized more.

In May, I dealt with the consequences of the missed deadline.

In June, I recklessly spent money in an attempt to compensate for the missed deadline.

In July, I took a vacation but failed to relax.

In August, I finished mourning the missed deadline and received a new deadline.

In September, I enjoyed family while I stressed over the new deadline.

In October, I successfully met that deadline.

In November, I enjoyed family and tried to feel relieved.

In December, I received a PhD and realized I wanted more out of life.

In 2018, I laughed, cried, yelled, smiled and everything in between. I mourned the version of my adult life I’d created when I was but a teen!

So 2019, will be the first year that I’m without some plan or idea of who and what I am or what my life should or shouldn’t be. This is good because I am finally open to what is meant for me. This is hard because I love my plans!

A decade ago is the first time my planned life was shaken…now my planned life is only an archived memory. The girl who planned that life, did not have the privilege of knowing the woman she’d planned the life for.

There’s no way she could’ve know that, the woman wouldn’t fit into those plans. I was that girl and that planned life kept me going. Literally propelling me to reach for my goals. In that regard, that planned life will always be cherished, but I’m thankful that those girl’s plans fail to fit this woman’s life.

There’s more trials, tribulations and triumphs for me in 2019.

Why should I choose?

As I’ve mentioned before…I am more than any one or combination of my attributes

This is something I stress because individuals are often asked to CHOOSE 1!

Honestly, even if I write a biography, the readers will still not completely know who I am.

Why should I choose only one attribute?