Category: Just because

Not much of a thought but intermittent fasting disturbs me…

Intermittent fasting seems like a pathway to disordered eating. I don’t know much about it, but from what I read, there’s a fine line between intermittent fasting and disordered eating.

The promotion of this eating or not eating routine bothers me. It seems we as people should take care in what we promote since we cannot control the audience who receives the message.

Thoughts?

Been a long time…

It’s been weeks since I posted or read any blog posts! All is well in my life; I’ve considered getting rid of this blog. Not sure I’ll keep up with it much anymore.

I hope everyone is well! Thanks for following my blog…

Romantic Relationships

Those who know me in real life are well aware that I shy away from romantic relationships.

In all honesty, I often miss the clues individuals utilize to express their interest in me…therefore I miss opportunities to even engage in many romantic relationships.

I’m one of those people who hyper focuses on one goal and loses sight of the big picture.

Even with all of those personal flaws or quirks (depending on who you ask) I’ve managed to fall in love and experience a romantic relationship.

Laugh, you know those quirks I mentioned earlier? They didn’t go away once I entered a romantic relationship, and they complicated things.

I’ve mentioned before that if I was born 15 years later than I was, there’s a high likelihood I would’ve been labeled as being somewhere on the Aspergers Spectrum.

That is not an insult to those who are on the spectrum, neither is it my attempt to make light of a serious issue.

I was born at the wrong time and in the wrong location and definitely in the wrong socioeconomic class for anyone of influence to flag my tendencies as different.

Enough of that.

I’m an adult now and I am still perplexed by romantic relationships. A part of me truly believed they are an utter waste of time and energy. While there’s another part of me that feels like romantic relationships are enticingly beautiful.

I still leave something to be desired when it comes to romantic relationships. I often have to be told what it is my partner desires from me and that can be annoying.

Oh I don’t mean they have to tell me something grand, no they have to tell me “amber I would like for you to hug me and not seem like I’m on fire and you’re afraid to catch it” haha! That was an odd moment, but I do have a tendency to hurry hugs.

I do have to work hard in romantic relationships and I still don’t know if they’re worth it. It seems like a lot of work with little benefits.

Friends forever

Years ago I believed that if I remained friends with an individual for five years, we’d be friends forever.

That’s not exactly true…yes five years is a long time to keep a friendship going. However, both parties have to actively work to keep the relationship afloat.

I’ve moved a few times in my adult life and I’m the first to admit that it’s hard work to maintain friendships. Thankfully, I’ve maintained some relationships in my adult life. Although it has been work.

Like me, my friends are adults. They are employees, spouses, parents, and we all live in different areas of the country. Life gets busy and making time to check in on friends is a lot. We manage to keep in touch with each other.

I’m also inactive on the major social media networks which has become a primary way of keeping in contact with individuals. I believe that true friendships reach beyond the world of Facebook. Removing myself from Facebook and Twitter approximately 5 years ago, quickly showed how some of my friendships were faux/ships of pseudo/relationships! They didn’t outlast my participation in social media networks.

I also was invited to less baby showers, birthday parties, and weddings when I deactivated my major social network pages! – this was welcomed news because I was always mailing gifts or sending my mom on a mission to find a gift for the recipient.

Today, I think that it takes much more than five years of knowing one another to be friends for life. It takes commitment and communication.

Can we talk…more?

It’s been said once or twice that I keep to myself and don’t open up to anyone.

The individuals who’ve said this share familial ties with me.

Each time I’ve been told that I need to talk more, let people in, share what’s going on with me; I’ve actively addressed it.

I’m the type of person who’ll heed your advice until I see that your opinion is baseless so I would purposely talk to these individuals and try to share my world with them.

Each time I’ve tried I may as well be talking to the wall because these individuals actively ignored me. At times they would find ways to busy themselves in order to escape the conversation.

Don’t you recall that I told you these individuals would say I needed to talk to them more

Yet when I try they decide that there’s better things to do than listen to me.

I’ll never say that I’m untouched by this reaction; I am. Through the years I’ve gotten better at not taking it so personal…but it still bothers me.

Maybe I presented myself wrong or I have bad timing. These are the things I tell myself when a conversation flat lines or never materializes.

I guess I should stop responding when these individuals suggest I open up to them more and share my world; but that would be out of character.

Sigh, if you suggest I converse with you more…please attend the conversation when I make an attempt to have one with you.

The Magician

I associate with people from many walks of life; their beliefs and their appearances vary.

This is a wonderful thing, it gives me an opportunity to explore my beliefs and appearances.

Most who know me would agree that I have no issues letting people be who they are or even whomever they wish they were.

I don’t proclaim to know the Truth; I prefer to view it as my truth. Years ago I decided that I can only speak my truth and that my truth could be completely different than someone else’s. Neither of us are unequivocally right; although, we may each believe that we are.

Some of my associates speak about the fascinating prowess of one whom I can only characterize as a magician. Even my characterization is evidence of my truth; I’m nearly certain that my characterization would cause a pother between my associates and myself.

Thankfully, I’m constantly informing my readers that this is simply my opinion, my truth.

The magician, I’ll stop short of referring to this being as great – I have to have some respect for my associates. So yes this magician is one who comes to the rescue of many individuals – I only have their testaments as evidence.

Several of my associates affirm that the magician has rescued them during the darkest of days, those times when everything that could go wrong, did.

Let me expound by example:

One such associate loves telling a story about the time in his life when he lost his job, fell behind on bills, subsequently lost his home and his car…then the magician came in just when he was about to lose his final shred of hope and dignity…the magician came in and voila this man’s life was rebuilt.

Not only was his life rebuilt, it was better than it had been before he lost all tangible items of value.

He was provided a job that he would’ve never been considered for as long as he had the job that he ultimately loss. That’s important, the losses were purposeful and the magician was able to use these losses for good.

I could go on but quite frankly all of my associates’ stories about the magician sound the same. If I didn’t know for certain, I would swear these individuals simply traded stories or at least they were paid by the magician to become walking, talking billboards.

From what I hear the magician puts on a great show, unfortunately, the tickets sell out quickly or at least I haven’t learned how to acquire any so I have yet to see this great act for myself.

I do enjoy the stories my associates share with me about the magician.

My beauty

My mind is beautiful; you may not know that tidbit of information.

My thoughts are complex; however, they are sometimes quite simple.

My heart is beautiful or so I’ve been told

I care for many, even those I don’t directly know.

My character is intricate, not easily defined

It’s difficult to bind to words just how beautiful I truly am.

My beauty goes beyond my external facade.