Category: endometriosis

Endometriosis complications 

If I had my way I wouldn’t have endometriosis, who would ever if given the choice? But I do have endometriosis and it has impacted every area of my life. I appreciate hearing about people who accomplished societal success, all while having endometriosis, but I’m also saddened by this news because I start judging myself harshly….what have I accomplished? How can I blame endometriosis for some of my success shortcomings when that individual I’m reading about has accomplished so much while having the same disease? 

So to get myself out of my conflicting thoughts I read about how endometriosis impacts everyone differently and blah, blah, blah. This works momentarily, until I read about someone with some other life altering illness who is successful according to society’s standards. Then the self judgment starts again – what is my excuse? I’m just a failing failure.

Ok so I know that this line of reasoning is unreasonable and utterly ridiculous but in that moment when I am judging myself so harshly for how I’m comparing my plight with someone else’s, this reasoning feels like the truest truth I’ve ever told myself.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis nearly two decades ago but it’s no easier to handle now than it was when I was a scared adolescent thinking I had some terminal illness in my stomach.

One thing I know for certain is that the quickest road to depression is to compare yourself to another. 

I’ll never be thankful for having endometriosis but I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned while dealing with this horrible disease. I believe I could’ve learned these lessons another less humiliatingly painful way but I didn’t choose the body I was born into or the diseases that occupied it

Endometriosis Fears

Being diagnosed with endometriosis in my adolescence was a blessing and a curse. I was glad to know that there was something wrong and it had a name. I was excited because I finally knew that I did not make up the pain; it was definitively real…with a name.

It didn’t take long for me to receive my diagnosis, considering that many individuals go years without a proper diagnosis. Endometriosis was always the suspected diagnosis from the very first time I experienced pain. The only delay in diagnosis was due to my age, my doctor didn’t want to subject me to an unnecessary surgery. We waited 1 1/2 years before surgery while trying oral contraceptives and so I could become an “official” teenager.

Once the official diagnosis came it was also a curse because I instantly developed fears about my future fertility and my future career.

I automatically assumed I was infertile and that NO man would want a woman who couldn’t bear his children. After reading information about endometriosis – most of which was provided by or recommended by my physician; I feared that I would never have a successful career either.

These thoughts, fears were compounded by my very premature mind, I was only a teenager – barely -and I tried to deal with a very mature problem. I wasn’t dying, but I often felt like dying was a far cry better than living In constant pain.

Today, I’m learning to put the brakes on as far as my fertility and career goes. No reason to worry about things that are not at the forefront. I’m currently working toward the career that I’ve always wanted and I’ve never tried to conceive so who knows what the future holds