Those who know me in real life are well aware that I shy away from romantic relationships.
In all honesty, I often miss the clues individuals utilize to express their interest in me…therefore I miss opportunities to even engage in many romantic relationships.
I’m one of those people who hyper focuses on one goal and loses sight of the big picture.
Even with all of those personal flaws or quirks (depending on who you ask) I’ve managed to fall in love and experience a romantic relationship.
Laugh, you know those quirks I mentioned earlier? They didn’t go away once I entered a romantic relationship, and they complicated things.
I’ve mentioned before that if I was born 15 years later than I was, there’s a high likelihood I would’ve been labeled as being somewhere on the Aspergers Spectrum.
That is not an insult to those who are on the spectrum, neither is it my attempt to make light of a serious issue.
I was born at the wrong time and in the wrong location and definitely in the wrong socioeconomic class for anyone of influence to flag my tendencies as different.
Enough of that.
I’m an adult now and I am still perplexed by romantic relationships. A part of me truly believed they are an utter waste of time and energy. While there’s another part of me that feels like romantic relationships are enticingly beautiful.
I still leave something to be desired when it comes to romantic relationships. I often have to be told what it is my partner desires from me and that can be annoying.
Oh I don’t mean they have to tell me something grand, no they have to tell me “amber I would like for you to hug me and not seem like I’m on fire and you’re afraid to catch it” haha! That was an odd moment, but I do have a tendency to hurry hugs.
I do have to work hard in romantic relationships and I still don’t know if they’re worth it. It seems like a lot of work with little benefits.