Many of us are led to believe that there’s someone out there for us; waiting to embark on an adventurous romantic relationship with us.
There are so many popularly held beliefs about love that it’s easy to become confused by it all.
We are taught that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved; that love will find away; that if someone loves you they will do [fill in the blank].
No one really likes to discuss the hard part about relationship or even how every relationship has a different course.
I recall when the popular craze about how to know if a guy is into you was all the rage. I remember trying to pinpoint things that expressly signified that Mr. was into me.
I often came up short, or at least with a mixed message.
Needless to say…I became confused!
The researcher in me now knows the fallacies in the popular arguments about how to tell if someone is into you or not…but at that time I just knew that these articles, books, movies would provide the answers that I oh so desperately needed.
I’ve loved before, it wasn’t all sunshine and smiles. For a fact, it was downright difficult to love – for me!
Be easy, I’ll explain! Loving someone romantically often led to me thinking of that person and considering their opinion.
Yeah! That was no fun and far from any vision I had of myself.
The love was reciprocal; although, even that was difficult – for me!
I didn’t know how to let myself be loved. I mean, this person had no obligation to care for my wellbeing so I often wondered why? I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what’s the catch?
I’m not suggesting that I am by anyway unworthy of love; however, along with those messages I subconsciously picked up about love – I also learned that no one just does something without wanting something else.
I’m sure you’ve been privy to those messages also. They are also in our television, movies, books, and conversations.
I didn’t know at the time why I continually questioned the validity and reliability of the love being given to me. I understand more now.
Thankfully, I decided to get to know myself more without the pressure of improving my relationship or my ability to accept love.
I simply desired to be a better version of me. This is why I am acutely aware of the messaging we receive in so many facets of life.
At the moment, I love someone romantically, and I’ve loved this person for quite sometime. I am careful about what messaging I allow to enter into my relationship.
Some times I find myself searching the web for someone’s opinion on relationships or specific questions pertaining to the relationship.
Without fail, I leave that search I thinking oh this individual might love me or he might not.
I also leave those searches thinking that I might have low self esteem and need a swift intervention or I might be a strong independent woman who knows what she wants out of a relationship.
After I stop stressing over my internet search (yes, as intelligent as I am – an internet search knocks me off of my sanity rocket) I remember that although the information presented by all of these great minds is good in its own niche – none of the authors are able to generalize my relationship because everyone is unique.
Don’t get it twisted…I do appreciate advice but I refuse to be consumed by the advice.
I am unique, with an interesting set of characteristics & the Individual I love is unique also.
It’s important that I don’t cheapen our relationship with the confusion that is the opinion of others.
Where’s my fairy godmother with her wand of happily ever after? Romantic relationships would be so much easier that way!