Flares – how appropriate is this word for the unpredictable, destructive way endometriosis and similar chronic pain disorders interrupt your life.
Like a flare of fire even if you avoid looking at it, the heat still makes it known. With endometriosis I often refuse to pay attention to the outrageous pain…yet it continues.
Slowly I become physically tired and lose my ability to comprehend…as a notably intelligent individual this aspect of the illness disturbs me more than the physical pain.
When I say I refuse to pay attention to the flares of endometriosis in the beginning; I am not suggesting that I refuse to treat the symptoms
Not only do I treat the symptoms at the first sign of pain – a lesson I learned the hard way – I rest and place myself in the most relaxing environment at my disposal.
However, I do not stop living…I simply modify my way of life.
But sometimes, like now, this is not enough to tame the endometriosis flare
When the endometriosis flares, all of the other chronic pain diseases occupying my body flare up.
My body responds the way that it has been equipped to respond to any invaders…it fights
My body attempts to put out the flare…but sometimes what started as a small flare becomes a forest fire.
My body is confused because it’s literally fighting itself…and I am exhausted, my mental capacity diminishes, anxiety rises and I seemingly fall apart
This is when endometriosis becomes a problem for me. I haven’t learned how to deal well with the extended flares.
It took me years to learn how to treat the symptoms at first sign of pain…so it’s discouraging when I follow that advice yet the flare becomes a forest fire that seems impossible to put out.
When flares become forest fires they leave damage behind. Once the fire is finally out, the damage must be dealt with.
I won’t focus on how this extended flare is damaging me – emotionally, physically, mentally, etc – but after 20 years of dealing with endometriosis I’m well aware that a flare is not over once the flames dissipate.
Flare – a wonderful word for the way chronic pain destructs, disrupts