I never expected to experience heartbreak all over again. I want to know how to do better with the next individual, I want to learn from this.
I wish someone would give me the guidebook of how to stop loving someone you genuinely love. All I know for certain is that I love him and it’s going to take time for that to change.
Trust me, when I say that I am more sad, hurt than angry, mad…it was the delivery that caused the most hurt. I thought we were friends and could talk about anything.
It would be easier if he was a jerk or even if there was someone else but there’s not so that leaves me.
I was never the greatest and I certainly have flaws but I thought if things did end, it would be through a phone call.
I am not ready to leave but I’m also not ready to stay. I’m in a limbo.
I’m not like some people I know, I don’t feel like I’ve lost any of myself or my worth. I know that I will have a wonderful life without him but I did lose my friend, my companion, my shoulder to lean on. And regardless of who I ultimately end up with, no one will be able to take his place.
I will likely love again but what I had with him sits in a class all by itself. That’s the beauty of it, I still see him as a great man with greatness ahead; although, popular culture suggests that I should see him as evil.
I know that there’s no one to blame in this situation, but I also accept responsibility for the part I played. I also know that he loved me once, although it’s easy to believe that it was all a lie.
He is a great man and no one can tell me anything. I miss my friend, my love but I respect his wishes.